Punny

I find more pleasure in puns than any other single thing. What about your family? Or chocolate? Nah, I'll take puns. I even think the word "punny" is funny.

The best puns of all time:

Pinochle Pun:
We were talking about old western movies, for some reason one day while I was playing cards with my family, which reminded me of the worst class I took in college: "Art of the American West."

But, Sarah, that sounds interesting. 

Watching Shane and The Girl with the Yellow Ribbon  is not interesting.

I just hate that kid so much.

The only comparable class model would be to watch Moulin Rouge to study Modern Art and Hercules to study Ancient Greek. Or maybe Night at the Museum. 

Side Rant: Why did people tell me to go see Night at the Museum!? That movie was bad. Do you just assume that I'll like something with the word "museum" in it?

Anyway, the two movies that I did like where The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (and it's catchy theme song) and 3:10 to Yuma. So, I had these two films on my mind while I hunted for the Queen of Spades and the Jack of Diamonds. Then, the best thing in the world happened. We were playing Pinochle, going around in a circle bidding. 250, 280, 300...

My mom looked up from her cards and asked, "What's the bid?"
I said, "It's 310 to you, Ma."

Then I retired from the world, because nothing could ever be better than that. Nothing. In the world.

Lazy Pun:

Disclaimer: I am the only person that thought this was hilarious.

About four years ago (wow! four years), Amanda was making some sort of meal in our apartment. This meant that she was wearing onion goggles. I told her that she was an excellent cook, but that her goggles made her look like she had a lazy eye. This lead to a dialogue in which Amanda claimed that I, in fact, had lazier eyes.

(She has a point.)

A few minutes later she told me I had a lazy eye and a lazy ass, because I was laying on the couch while she was cooking. For me, imagining the wandering, drooping nature of a lazy eye and assigning those qualities to one's derriere, was perhaps the funniest thing that had ever happened (remember this happened before 3:10 to you, ma). Amanda watched me laugh myself off the couch through her onion goggles. 

Man, I knew I wouldn't be able to convey the hilarity of that situation.  

Perhaps my blog needs a "Sarah Puns" section, where I can update my vast readerbase about all the hilarious things that I say. That would be great for everyone. 

Flu and Funk

I'm feeling a bit energized today, because I finally was able to run (when did I become a person who needs to run?) and I got a brand new job. Thanks to some sweet connections and a good interview, I'll be up and running in a few weeks. Feeling energized is big news in Sarahworld, because I've been feeling funky and not in a good, Bee Gees kind of way. I really needed a break after the crazy that was my last job, but my biggest problem is being stuck at home. Stuck at home leads to funk. Do you know what else leads to funk? Flu.

I am about to tell a graphic story, so if you balk at bodily fluids or the word "wan," then get out now.

Michael went to Southern Idaho to sell some sweet textbooks. He gave them textbooks and they gave him a cold. Michael then gave his beautiful, underemployed, wife a cold. I looked the cold in the face and said, "Get out of here, you," because I'm brave and I talk to my ailments. And my cold, respectfully, started to fade.

Suddenly, Michael left to go to Reno, because his job sends him to the most magical places in the world (ok, it wasn't "sudden," but I never remember what his schedule is going to be). A gross stomach flu decided that I was lonely and set up camp. Rude? Quite. Offensive? Entirely.

Then, the flu and my cold decided to be a team, set upon making my cry (and blow my nose and throw up). Have you ever had a cold and a stomach bug? My neither. After waking up very sick in the middle of the night, I figured out how to fix all my problems. After four hours of laying on the bathroom floor/emptying my already empty stomach while Moose paced in the hallway, I called my mom. That is the solution to the flu. My mom came over and calmed my puppy down and patted me on the back while I woozily threw up some more. Stuffed nose and vomiting. Cool! My mother actually put socks on my feet for me. That. is. love. She did put Michael's hiking socks on my feet, but no one should blame her; our closet organization is not very good.

Moose, exhausted after a long night.

My worst moment came when I realized that I had to go from the upstairs bathroom to the kitchen to unlock the door (otherwise my mom wouldn't be able to come in and cure me). So, I threw up, walked down the stairs, unlocked the door, threw up in the downstairs bathroom, walked up the stairs, returning to my original position...where I threw up. You suck, flu. I'll stop talking about it now, and I promise to stop personifying viruses.

Although I only had one day of nausea, it took me a long time to start feeling better, which may have something to do with funkiness and general stress as well. Working on that. But, I'm feeling much better after running and good news. Walking out my front door seems to be all that I need. Maybe I should pack it up and live out of a motor home, or a tent, or an inflatable plastic ball so that I don't get gloomy in my house.

To sum it up, the best way to get a job is to make some great friends at 3 am in freshman dorms so that they will, later in life, tip you off about opportunities, and moms are cures for the flu.

You in the Uinta's

Sometimes, it feels so good to lie in a little plastic house while it rains. I may be having some Oregon withdrawals, because all I wanted to do was walk in the rain.

Mr. Moose was banished to this towel for most of the trip. Mmmmmm, wet dog. 

RAIN WALKS

Fall is in the air.

Mandy and Sean have mastered the cow grate crossing. Check out those clouds, eh?

This game was not notable on any level; I lost.

 On Sunday we hiked to Granddaddy Lake. 9 miles (it should have been 8, but we got a bit lost).

 Is there a lake monster in there, or was Rusty skipping rocks?

 Ah, the self-timer shot...Mandy doesn't think I'm ready. 

Yay for the yurt and the rainy Uinta Mountains!

Change is Change

After 11 months, my crazy, start up, unorganized, occasionally fun, hectic job has ended. I say "has ended" instead of saying that I got laid off, or fired, because (although I did technically get laid off) my company ran out of money. I have a measure of relief, because a lot of the elements of that "start up culture" clash with my personality. Mixed with relief, I have a measure of panic -what now? I'm thankful that my online teaching is starting again - Aggie Pride. I'm thankful for Michael's steady job and benefits (being a married lady is kind of nice sometimes). I'm thankful that I get to hang out with Moose Dog for a few days and focus on my PhD applications.


But...what now? This year, with wedding madness, and my 40+ hour job, and my teaching job, has been chock-a-block full of activity. I'm gearing up for the job hunt (already been cruising Indeed.com), recovering from the whirlwind that was this job, and looking ahead. Any suggestions, any one want to be my life guru?

I went over the relief and the panic, but--and this one is surprising me--I also have a small measure of pride. I survived. Made it through this company from start to finish; I feel like I did all that I could (sometimes in a heroic way) to sustain the company I worked for. Working in a HR capacity can often be emotionally draining -- does anyone really want to fire someone, or watch a company capsize? But, I made it. I also kicked some student loans right in the face -- hiyah! I'm excited to move forward, and even though it would be very easy to bash on the job that just ended, I'm going to focus on the fact that it was very good for my little family's finances and it helped me understand what I'm good at. I also got to meet some amazing people. Will I miss fighting for regulation compliance and pushing payroll through?

The very last thing I did as HR (besides fire myself...) was run a food drive for the Utah Food Bank. We collected 486 pounds of food! Loved taking the collection into the food bank, and award prizes in the office. That may sound like a little thing, but I'm going to cling to it.

 Weighing in on the mega-scale. 

Here's to the future--Cheers! *throws up*

Sheepdogs and Kettle Corn

Michael and I went up to Soldier Hollow to watch Sheepdog trials as the start of our Labor Day weekend. Since we are currently babysitting my parent's border collie, it seemed fitting. 

I'm not sure that Moose could ever be convinced to usher sheep around a giant field, but after the film 'Babe', what right do any of us have to underestimate an animal's shepherding skills? 

See the sheepies? Really though, Moose wouldn't even be aware that there were sheep up the hill. 

We very much enjoyed the Splash Dogs too. I think my niece, Callie, could join this contest. 

 

We ended up at a Mexican restaurant in Midway with a awesome salsa bar. 

Yay holidays! Someday I'm going to go teach moose how to heard bunnies. For now he'll just focus on cuddling his friends. 

Moose has an Uncle Named Theodore

Somedays are days where you save a dog from the Humane Society and eat a lot of chocolate. Those are the best days.

Brunch at Snowbird was very nice. Sushi + chocolate + cheese? I accept.

 We went to the Humane Society on Saturday, but we were a little too late to adopt, so we had to go to back the next day. When we got there on Sunday, though, he was not in his kennel. We were a little concerned/horrified, but it turned out that he was out on a field trip to Petsmart. So, we sped to South Jordan. 

My dad was happy to see his birthday present.

He wasn't so sure about the car. If only he new he was coming home to a fun backyard and a bunch of people who already love him. 

This is how the backseat feels about the puppy. 

Welcome to the family, Theo.

The Calm After the Party

Whew, we made it.

Dear everyone who as every been involved in planning a wedding,

Good work.

Love,
Sarah

In my case, all that work really paid off. I'm not sure how my family/friends feel about that--since I spent the last month ordering them around--but I'm so happy with how it turned out. I'm excited to get pictures back. I'll be a postin'.

Part of me wishes that I had invited everyone I've ever met, because we had such a good time, but I also am so happy with the way it turned out that I wouldn't change a thing. I'm so proud of my family for pulling it off and I'm so happy that I was able to enjoy the day. It didn't even rain!

My post-wedding brain can't quite seem to sit still. Despite my unsubscribing from many wedding blogs (except for Green Wedding Shoes, still like that one), I still seem to be on high alert for all things wedding. I don't think I'll be joining the wedding business anytime soon though--I consider myself a reasonable person, but during wedding time? Total loon. Who would want to work in an industry where everyone is the craziest version of themselves? I'll pass on that. I'll also pass on getting married again. Best anti-divorce plan? Plan a wedding.

My griping aside, I loved our ceremony so much. I am going to post the transcript of the ceremony here, after I finish scanning it in. Our officiant, Roxanne, did such a good job and helped everyone focus on what the day was supposed to be about: a celebration of love and the conception of a new family. The only snafu? I bit too much blubbering on my part, and my putting the ring on Michael's wrong hand--we should have practiced that I suppose.

Part of our ceremony included putting letters in a box that will open on our one year anniversary -- wedding guests and Michael and I added our thoughts. Looking forward to remembering the feeling of our ceremony and wedding day when we re-read these messages.

To sum up, I feel very lucky and very married. That's a good place to be. I will share pictures and other wedding tidbits as I have time--seem to have a lot more of that time thing lately!

Super Cool Runnings

Father's Day is adventure day. My sister and I always spend Father's Day with my dad, going on some sort of awesome adventure. One memorable year, we went to Tracy Aviary and were interviewed on the local news.  Next to an emu. Apparently emus are good fathers...who knew?

This year, we hopped up to Park City and went on the bobsled run. If you've seen me in the last week, I've already told you about this. It was so cool.


We watched the aerial show. $10--totally worth it. These people are kind of awesome. I'm not afraid of skis or hieghts, but I don't know if I want to fall from a height. into water. while wearing skis. Although, perhaps water is better than an icy slope? I seem to be all prepped for the Sochi Olympics.

Then we did the bobsled. Yeah!

Laura is laughing at me in my helmet. Little does she know...I have a camera. And a blog.

I have the coolest Dad.

We traveled one mile in 1:00.08 minutes. ONE MINUTE. The track record is half that, which makes my mouth fall open in a stupor. It was an expensive minute, but pretty awesome. The driver said that locals don't do it very often, so come on Salt Lakians, let's go! I have a new found respect for the 2 & 3 man who jump in -- it's really not that big. I also can't believe that it goes twice as fast in the winter. The summer sled is basically on big roller blade wheels, is more padded and easier to drive, while the winter sled is on actual metal blades, has no padding, and is very hard to steer. I think I'll stick the summer version, with the employee pilot. I also learned that if you're a super snob, you call the sport "bob sleigh."

It was super fun, and a little crazy--just like my Dad.

Pool Time is Cool Time

I'm a bit behind on this blog, but I've been missing those Arizonian (almost) in-laws that I have. I got to go visit for a weekend a while back and see those brand new little matching babies.

Here's a few pictures from our trip. So happy that I get to see them all again soon.

 Some chose to just Slip n'Run.

 She's holding her pink brush above water, so that it doesn't get wet. Obviously.

 Are you going to do it, Ellie? She'll be jumping in a few weeks--she's a better swimmer than me. Maybe I should get some pink polka dot water wings, to improve my form.

 Learning from her big sis. Look at those pudgy little fingers.

Meanwhile, Moose keeps a look out. He's not really looking out, he's just trying to get everyone to stop making fun of him--our dog is terrified of water. Good work, Moose, way to be a lab.


Those kids are so sweet sometimes. The night before I left, I went to bed pretty early. I saw a little blond head poke into the room and sneak into the room. As I jumped up to say, "grumble, grumble, go to bed." Brynn presented me with a burger king crown with hair bows all over it. "For your wedding," she said sleepily. Then, she curtsied. Should anyone have a last minute wedding headpiece emergency, I recommend Brynn; she'll stay up late into the night to make something fabulous. I have a half a mind to wear it... Needless to say, I did not yell at her, I just tried not to cry.

How lucky am I to be marrying into this awesome family?