Long Distance

It's terrible. Michael and I are coming up on three weeks without seeing each other and might have to go five. I blame my students, my thesis, his students, his thesis and the government. Alright, not so much the government.

Isn't it about time that we lived in the same place? Our anniversary is this month: four years. Four years! And that whole time we've never lived in the same city. I did have one semester off between my undergrad and graduate school, but I was staying with my parents. I love my parents, but it always feels transitional when I'm staying there--a temporary stay where I don't unpack my winter clothes. We've gotten to see each other a lot. I think we've both been pretty good about making an effort to see one another. When we were just from Salt Lake to Logan, we saw each other almost every weekend. And even now, we do our best to make it every three weeks or so.

But all that "seeing each other" requires planning, forethought, early completion of homework and hours of driving. Especially now--it's a seven or eight hour drive. And you can't speed in Oregon. And I don't have cruise control. It just never feels like enough time. I've left Spokane at 4:30 AM multiple times to get home for class on Monday, because I wasn't willing to leave on Sunday afternoon and miss eating dinner with Michael.

We usually plan fun things to do. We go out to eat and justify dessert, take long walks (I'm always happy that I can walk around after dark when Michael's here) and attend whatever festival or market that's going on around town. But, I'm sick of planning. I don't want to make lists of all the things I'd have to do to be able to see Michael this weekend--in fact making the list just makes me depressed and unable to accomplish anything. And then, of course, I feel like I'm wasting time when I could be getting ahead so that I can visit Michael. Which makes me depressed...

Sometimes I feel like we're on the home stretch, I'm almost one third of the way through this school year. Come June, this separate zipcode thing will end. But I hate that attitude, the "I'm be happy when..." I actually think the worst part is not being able to share when I'm happy. Somehow, it's much easier to be in the same mood when you're together. I like my program and the people here and walking around this green, green place. I have some really good days, but that enthusiasm just doesn't quite come through on the phone. Sometimes our conversations run like book reports, because it's so hard to convey emotions (especially when you talk with your hands, eh Michael?). "And then I read an article, and then I went to the library, and then I made dinner..." or "And then I tried to write something, and then Moose did this, and then Moose did that, and then I tried to write something..."

I don't usually get this "schmoozy" on my blog. I'm better at the hilarious commentary on pop culture and fashion advice, like my usual posts. This writing did make me feel a little better though. I'll just try to not become like the people featured here (this is a blog about bloggers who apologize for not blogging and then explain why; it's amazing). I also have a rule against blogs without pictures. So, here's a picture of Michael and I on our 3rd(?) date. For some reason we thought it would be hilarious to get really dressed up and have my mom take a picture. Somebody should tell mushroom head and doofus elf that their relationship is going to be really, very good! and they're never going to see one another.